No one else can ever see who I really am,
Unless they’ve been through
Times and pains like I have.
It’s not their fault.
God just knows that
Because of how much
I’ve been hurt and
How terribly I’ve struggled
I’m a strong person,
I know to rely on Him.
So I go through life alone.
Each and every day
I speak intimately with Christ
Over my every decision.
The words I speak
Flow as quickly from my tongue
As with any other person,
But mine are special.
Same with my actions.
Because I’m in tune with God,
I rely on Him and His will,
Not mine.
I don’t have to think for hours,
Just ask
And listen with an open and willing heart.
Christ knows
I hurt deeply
Because His will for my life
Exposes me to others’ pains
And I feel their pain,
Along with pain I often feel
Because of the heartbreaking tasks
I’m supposed to do,
Or words I’m supposed to say.
But someone has to say them,
And if Christ calls,
I go.
Even many times when I
Don’t agree, understand,
Or believe I can.
I just go.
So many people,
Nearly all,
View me as selfish,
Blunt, arrogant,
Nosy, mean, or manipulative.
But I understand how,
I don’t blame them for not seeing the real me
When their eyes
Are closed.
It’s a lonely life,
Most people look at me,
See only my pain,
And think I allow myself to be depressed,
I take little pains and make them too big,
I sit in self-pity or pity for others.
Not true.
Not at all.
At the end of my every day,
I am at peace.
I have no regrets
Because I did do God’s will,
Whether others understand that or not,
Whether I laughed or cried.
I only have one life to help others.
I have all of eternity to worry about myself so
I figure that will wait.
Who says you have to fix yourself
Before you can help others?
No, I’ll put them first.
It’s okay,
Because I have God.
But sometimes,
I look around a room,
And realize how each person
Sees me and my actions,
And I just wish,
For once,
I wouldn’t be invisible.
Age 15