If I only want to.
I can be healed,
And so can you.
It sounds petty,
It sounds like an advertising plea.
It’s not though.
I have a story,
I can explain my life and pain.
I can prove I’m healing,
And demonstrate what is to gain.
A plea, then,
I guess it is in a way,
But it’s one I feel that in my heart,
I must make today.
You see, the way you feel…
I think I’ve felt.
I’ve felt a lot of pain, confusion,
I’d just like to tell you how I dealt.
I wasn’t into religion,
At least not for quite a few years,
And my childhood consisted of
A lot of yelling and even more tears.
By the time I was a teen,
I wasn’t coping so well.
I understated that-
Basically, my life seemed like hell.
Teenage girls are vulnerable,
Or at least that’s what they say.
I fell pray to bulimia and anorexia,
To depression in general one day.
Along came suicidal thoughts,
And then more attempts than I recall.
When I burned my skin, slit my wrists,
Or overdosed; I could just feel myself fall.
Deeper and deeper
Into this imaginary world of mine,
Until finally, one day,
I crossed the line.
I realized I didn’t lead a life
That reflected who I am inside.
I was no longer going to live in fear,
I had decided to no longer hide.
I turned myself in
And I’ll never forget the following week.
Locked in a hospital,
I had a lot of time, and answers to seek.
Friends and family,
Everyone was shocked and in pain.
Knowing I’d caused that
Should’ve driven me insane.
It opened my eyes.
I began to see the sad truth,
Through my series of lies.
I can never make right,
The so many things I’ve done wrong,
But what I can do,
Is work on growing strong.
I have a lot of trust to earn back,
A lot of persecution and temptation to face.
Slipping back to old ways would seem easy,
But instead, I’m accepting God’s Grace.
I don’t have all the answers,
And I don’t have strength on my own.
I don’t want to go back to that life,
I don’t want to feel so alone.
The Lord is my Savior now,
Yeah, I found religion after all this time.
I don’t use it as a crutch and I won’t say each day isn’t a struggle,
But at least now, there’s hope in this heart of mine.