With the truth,”
You say.
So I whisper my secrets
Into your ear.
You listen silently
But your expression
Says more than words could.
It helps to get
Things off my chest,
But the pain I cause you
Cuts me like a knife to the heart.
You want to know me,
Through and through,
“Both good and bad,”
Even though there’s always more bad.
I disappoint you,
Over and over,
But still, you’re eager to know.
I love you
With all my heart
And all I have,
But you say if I loved you enough,
I’d change my ways.
For all my bad secrets,
Come from bad choices made.
I cry and cry,
And try with all my might,
But I guess I just don’t
Love you enough.
It blows my mind,
I don’t understand.
I thought you had all of my love,
Thought I’d been trying my hardest.
I guess I was wrong.
You never love me less,
Never get mad.
Even though I hurt you
More than you’ll admit,
You continuously put
Blind faith in me.
One day I broke down,
Said I hurt you so bad,
I knew a piece of your heart
Died each time you heard a secret of mine.
One day, I knew,
There’d be no pieces left.
One day, I knew,
You’d give up on me.
I told you I’d stop
Hurting you with secrets,
I’d keep them all from you,
Spare you the pain.
You said that’d hurt worse,
Than any secret I could ever whisper.
I told you I wanted
To protect you,
To keep that piece of your heart,
To abandon you,
Before you abandoned me.
You said you never would,
And I shouted in rage,
“You will! You will!
Like everyone else
Who’s ever turned their back on me,
Who’s ever walked away,
Without turning back!”
You said it wasn’t true,
You were different.
“Yeah,” I said,
“They were all different.
How do you know,
How do you know you won’t give up!?!”
You didn’t know,
You said,
“Maybe from the tear
Running down my cheek.”
Age 15