Unworthy tears, in awe of God’s great grace.
As a child I grew
In a broken home.
No comfort there,
So my thoughts would roam.
The more they yelled,
The more I got scared.
I grew up feeling
Like no one cared.
Trying to cope in life,
I made a pact.
The only way I’d survive
Was to hide behind an act.
If you keep a safe distance,
Show no one who you really are,
No one can deeply hurt you,
Leaving yet another ugly scar.
I was too afraid to love them,
More afraid they’d love me.
It wasn’t easy to keep my guard up,
But it was the only protection I could see.
I’d deemed myself
Unworthy of love.
The kind that didn’t hurt,
The kind from above.
You came into my life,
I cared deeply for you,
But I was afraid of the pain,
That might come if you knew.
I was positive
That you were blessed.
But I remembered, also,
That I had been sure of the rest.
More time passed,
My secret safe in my heart,
The closer we grew,
The more I feared it’d rip us apart.
You stayed by my side
Through both thick and thin.
You convinced me that in any battle,
With God in my heart, I could win.
You made me feel
Like a good person inside.
How I felt around you,
Only made my secret harder to hide.
One day,
Like many,
I told you my worries.
You never seemed to have any.
You were always there
To hold out your hand,
You helped me make
A rock of my sand.
I gave up my life,
Let God in my heart.
This time I gave all,
Not keeping any small part.
I let go of decisions,
Habits, and friends.
Knowing and trusting-
God, in my life, mends.
You had something to tell me,
You were nervous but sure.
You told me you cared for me
And God told me your care was pure.
Unworthy tears, running down my face.
Unworthy tears, in awe of God’s great grace.
Age 15