You’ve given me a past and a present,
Along with a mind which hopes for the future.
You’ve given me a heart; a soul
To feel with, to remember,
To struggle to comprehend.
Closing the door on the past
Opens up a divine freedom
Of potential for what lies ahead.
But while that is a choice
So many choose to take,
Something holds me from it-
A knowledge that shutting the door to the past
Means locking a corner of my heart,
Capturing it forever as it is now,
Draping a blanket over the pain,
Which hasn’t healed in order to
Deny a scar ever existed.
While so many urge me to do so,
To “move on” and “let it lie,”
In hopes, only hopes that somehow
Time will heal me all on its own.
I can’t, Father,
I can’t and I won’t
Because it is wrong.
Everything you’ve allowed into my life,
Everything since my birth,
Has molded who I am,
And I can draw strength from it.
Even the pain, oh, especially the pain.
Everything has an equal potential-
For harm or help,
And if I can just find a way to
Heal that pain without closing the door on it,
Then someday, one day,
I know it will serve as a blessing
Just as strongly as it has a curse.
Lord, do not let me close any of the doors in my heart,
For I desire to keep them open to You.