My husband and I have been married over 10 years and we still look at each other with a twinkle in our eye at times- the same twinkle that was there when we first started dating. There was a time of stress and sorrow that threatened to derail our love life, but we saw the potential for distance to creep between us and we took proactive steps to guard our precious relationship. Grief can be very consuming and some seasons are very physically, emotionally, and mentally demanding- there are times you and/or your spouse may feel like you have "nothing left to give" and romance may be the last thing on your mind due to pressing circumstances beyond your control. It's okay- you don't ever have to force yourself to try keep up with expectations or even hopes- but you DO have to be intentional. If we can keep the romance alive and come out on the other side of several traumatic experiences with a deeper, richer intimacy, so can you! These 5 steps are made to be customized- so give them a read and pray about what steps you may need to take. Your marriage and love life are worth it! |
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I am a Christian. I am a wife. I am rebellious. This is a bad thing; this is a conflict of interests. This is something I have struggled to understand and seek God's will about for a long time. You could also rephrase the confession above to say any of the following: I am fiercely independent. I am always right. I am not a push over. I have a hard time admitting when I am wrong. I'm not whipped. I think for myself. I am a strong woman. I have my reasons. He just doesn't understand. If I want something done right, I have to do it myself. Well, somebody needs to wear the pants in this family. I stand up for what I believe in.* (*NOTE: This is not always used as a noble defense of a truly virtuous or moral belief. Rather, it is an excuse for outbursts of opinion which may or may not have been handled with kindness and respect.) Here's the heart of my struggle: Where do you draw the line? What's the difference between being legalistic and obeying God's commands?I want to obey God, and I want to be a good and faithful wife that is a blessing (not a curse!) to my husband. However, I have harbored a lot of fears about what it would actually look like to be submissive to my husband. So, basically, I just haven't been. At least not in my heart. I submitted to him when I agreed with him. And if I didn't agree with him, I pulled out my lengthy list of excuses and rationalizations to justify my behavior (both my speech and my actions). I thought that being a submissive wife meant "going belly up" and resigning to never give any meaningful input if it could potentially contradict what my husband desired or proposed. This is not what God wants for marriages. He declares a married man and woman to be one flesh, and He doesn't desire there to be bitterness or anger coming between loved ones.
I have heard people speak about a wife "coming under the protection of her husband" by being submissive to him. To be honest, this didn't make a lick of sense to me. I just didn't get it. I grasp that children being obedient to parent's brings them under protection, and I also grasp that being obedient to God can keep us under His protection. That is because in both of those cases, a wise authority is offering protection from foolish choices made by those with less experience. I looked at my husband as being on a level playing field with me, not as a level above me. I really thought (and still think ) that the Bible doesn't consider men to be "better" than women. They are both created in God's image and they are equal in value but different in ways (both masculine and feminine traits reflect God's character, and there are plenty of traits, such as creativity, which overlap both genders). Don't misread that sentence to say that men can't cook or women shouldn't have to take out the trash. I don't mean that, nor do I believe that women shouldn't work outside the home or that men shouldn't be nurses. If you are getting that vibe from this post, may I humbly suggest that you aren't so much listening for what I'm trying to express as you may be lying in wait for an opportunity to object. If you're lying-in-wait, you'll miss the whole point. |
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January 2022
Blog Hopping?I am not much of a blog reader. There's only a couple I check on occasion:
HisPoetry.blogspot.com Love this girl's writing... feels like she's a long distance friend. Well, her sister is my long-distance friend, so that probably helps. Either way, what an inspiration and encouragement- you just need to check out some of the places life has taken Leah and be strengthened and inspired by the love that oozes (yes, oooozes) from her heart for Jesus, His people and His creation! chocolatecoveredkatie.com If you like nummy recipes, or have special dietary needs (or both!) check it out. ALL of her recipes are Vegan, and many can be made gluten-free. I stumbled upon it when searching for dairy/egg free treats to make for my kiddo and have gotten hooked on several recipes. Okay, "hooked on" doesn't portray it well enough. How about "addicted to"? That's more fitting. Will definitely be going back for more! |