Too many things.
I didn’t want to believe
That nightmares come true,
Almost more often than dreams.
I’d known she had cancer
They told me a few months ago.
Told me they caught it late-
Really late.
The medical terms,
Floated through my mind,
Like a snowflake in the breeze
But when you live where I do,
Blizzards are all too common.
My mom said
I’d have to pray for all of us,
Seeing as I’m the only one active in a church
Out of the whole family on her side.
That
I think,
Is what made it all pretend.
I knew,
That all I’d need
Was faith,
The size of a mustard seed.
She was my favorite aunt,
One of my favorite people in fact.
That made me more confident
In the pretendness of it all.
She was too happy,
Too strong
Too nice!
And plus,
I was praying,
And I was praying with complete assurance
That if I only asked,
I’d receive.
Because-
Faith is being sure of what you hope for-
And I had faith!
This wasn’t happening-it was pretend.
Yeah, yesterday,
They called.
“She’s gone,” my mom said
Just like that
Tears in her eyes!
“She’s gone.”
I could’ve prayed more,
Could’ve…
Could’ve…
I don’t know.
I took for granted,
Too many things.
I didn’t want to believe
That nightmares come true,
Almost more often than dreams.
Now I sit here,
And wonder.
Memories
Floating through my mind,
Like a snowflake in the breeze.
As a tear drops near my heart,
Making my mustard seed grow.
And dreams and nightmares,
Blur together,
Into a blizzard.
Age 15