I was lost.
Lost, and naive to my ignorance.
I’m glad
That you were stable,
For you could see
That there was more to me
Than the act I hid behind.
We noticed each other,
And went on our ways.
Yet somehow they kept colliding,
Forcing us,
Over time,
To take interest
In the person lingering
Behind the masks we all wear.
Honestly,
I looked to you,
And felt unworthy,
Undeserving.
I was sure,
I stood no chance
At being your friend.
How could we relate,
When you are all I strive to be,
And I am all you never were?
I looked up to you,
Strong and stable.
I know you must falter,
But never did I catch you.
You seemed so sure,
So very much like how I’ve been before.
I must confess,
I assumed you’d consider me
The type of person
Never to have faithfully followed,
As you do constantly.
I thought
That through your eyes
I needed saving,
But was too stubborn and rebellious
Even to work on.
But I was wrong.
You saw me,
You didn’t know just what you saw,
But it was me,
A glimpse of my soul.
As our paths crossed,
I began to see
That there was much more to you,
But you also,
Were an expert in the skill of elusiveness,
A challenge for me,
You seem quite possibly my match.
The depths of the heart
Hide so many mysteries,
So many tiny secrets
That must be hidden,
Tucked away,
For they’re still tender.
For me to discover
That you were rather experienced
At dodging truths
That should’ve long been revealed
Was just an invitation
For my mind to be intrigued
And set stubbornly on this challenge.
Yet you,
Somehow wise to these ways,
Took my depths as a challenge also,
Going about it in a clever manner,
I must say.
You positioned me
So I was nearly cornered,
But in my one pathway out,
You put a message.
A message that,
Should I flee,
I will never gain your trust,
I will never learn your secrets,
Never know who you truly are.
I’m almost sure
That I could’ve easily fled
Out of this corner
And directly behind you
Where you cannot see,
Where I’d have control.
I could’ve cornered you,
But I love this game,
This dance of elusiveness
And I certainly would’ve been
More shrewd than you
And left you no pathway out.
That I decided,
Would be too easy.
This game,
This dance of courage and cowardliness
Would’ve ended too soon for my taste.
I must admit,
I have a weakness in this game.
I knew it was there always,
But this is the first it’s ever surfaced.
During this dance,
This game of secrets, trust, and fear,
I’ve fallen for your charms,
For you,
And for the match we create.
Never have I
Been less than positive
That I’d gain trust
And learn just who my opponent was
With only the slightest effort.
I’d always tell them a few of my secrets also,
Just as a gift for good sportsmanship.
But you,
You confuse my strategies,
Because I find myself
Wanting to tell you secrets,
To let you find out who I am.
I like the feeling
Of being cornered by you
And am willing to be submissive,
Submissive in my own game
To grow closer to you.
I took a step
And opened a part of my heart to you,
Allowed you to see how truly vulnerable I am
Beneath this extensive act of daily life.
You are
The kind of expert in elusiveness
That I wish to surrender to,
For you,
Seeing my sacrifice,
Made one also
By taking a step in my direction
By opening up to me
And I believe,
I truly believe,
Little by little,
Conquered fear by conquered fear,
Ounce of trust by ounce of trust,
We’ll allow each other
To see who we are.
Who we really are
And we’ll both drop
The acts we used in the game
And the masks we wore.
And we’ll just be left
Standing close to one another in an unbreakable friendship,
Dancing.
Age 15