Going to pack my things
To ignore my heart
And walk out of your life.
Not because I don’t love you
Not because I don’t want you,
But because I do.
I want the world for you
Not to stand between you and the world.
Thought I was holding you back
Thought you and your little girl
Would be better off without me
Me and my troubles.
Thought I should just disappear
And in time you would heal
In time you’d forget
You’d move on.
Thought I cause too much stress
Thought I complicated your ability to raise a little girl.
A little girl who means the world to me
A little girl who doesn’t know she will be a big sister
Who didn’t know I was thinking of leaving,
And doesn’t know she’s the reason I stayed.
For as I lay here,
Planning my disappearance from her life,
She was saying goodbye
For a little while
And as she ran out the door
She called back,
Just this once,
“I love you”
A little girl who doesn’t know she changed my world today.
Age 19