For words to express
This emptiness I feel.
This pain,
This torturing agony.
The burden I carry
Seems too heavy to lift up to the Lord.
My mind pleads with my mouth
To speak out for help,
But the words are not there,
And the fear is too great.
How can I
Become a great mountain,
Glorified through the Lord,
When my foundation
Is weak and crumbling.
I am alone in my family,
Alone in my journey.
I long for comfort
From my family,
For support, or even acceptance.
I look about
To see others that struggle
And fall back on their families,
Or at least on the things
That their families have taught them.
Not I,
I stand alone here,
Another sinner in the crowd,
But alone,
For I alone struggle to change,
To grow near the Lord.
And serve Him to the fullest,
I alone see the errors,
The flaws,
The pain we cause Christ,
The careless ignorance of those others.
I alone give my all
To grow near my Savior,
And try to save them also.
Often I allow myself
To become in a poor state,
For I’m focused on them,
Those poor souls,
My family.
I seek strength in the Lord,
But still I find
That my mind replays
Memories from long ago,
Awakening the pain, they are,
And reviving the wound,
The cut that runs
Straight through my heart.
I grew up fast,
Grew up alone.
I have great daydreams
Of what it’d be like
To have a real family,
One that knew me,
That loved and supported me.
One that understood.
One that wasn’t ignorant,
So that theses burdens I carry,
Wouldn’t be so heavy.
Age 15