Inside my mind.
I can’t decide,
If my heart’s beating recklessly,
Or hopelessly.
My whole body trembles
And shakes with a weakness
Coming from deep within.
I feel sick to my stomach,
And my eyes move in and out of focus.
My head feels light,
But heavy too.
And I feel as though,
I’ll either rip out my hair,
Or fall lifelessly.
I’ve lost control,
To the evil in my mind,
And chaos runs freely.
No one understands
A word I say,
And many times I don’t either.
All I know,
Is that what I thought I’d left in the past,
Has refused to leave me.
Bloody images
Torment my mind
And slash at my heart.
Thoughts of suicide,
Are all I think.
Why now?
My faith is strong,
My friends good,
My grades high,
My happiness abundant.
All of these things
Better than ever before,
But one thing,
One thing never changes.
And it is the one
That brings the evil thoughts.
My home,
My prison.
The people inside
Could never be family,
For the pain and suffering they cause
Is indescribable.
As long as I can remember,
Yelling,
Swearing,
Fighting,
Crying,
Fear.
No more,
No more injustice!
I don’t have to pretend.
Pretend it’s okay,
Pretend it’s normal,
Pretend I can deal with it!
It’s the worst feeling in the world,
To live in your own worst nightmare,
Surrounded by those who
Should hold you dearest,
But do hurt you worst.
I cannot endure
These endless battles.
I may not even be a soldier,
But every time,
I fall victim.
Rescue me.
Rescue me from the evil
They have borne unto me.
I’ve lost control.
Age 14